Missing You
by LilianaRosana
Summary: "Today he would see his lover. It had been a while. Way too long actually, but it was life, or so Law told himself to make up for the guilt he felt. He should go and see him more, he knew that. He missed him so much all the time… maybe that was why he didn't try to see him more." Tags: Heavy Angst;Character Death; Attempt at making it better;Written for LawLu Week; But I am late


**Summary:**

"Today he would see his lover. It had been a while. Way too long actually, but it was life, or so Law told himself to make up for the guilt he felt. He should go and see him more, he knew that. He missed him so much all the time… maybe that was why he didn't try to see him more."

**Notes:**

Hello guys !

This was supposed to be posted for LawLu Week Day 7 but I am late sorry !

PS: For readers of Letting Go, I have not given up on writing it, I have just been in a pretty bad place these past few months. I will get around to publish chapter 24.

Unbetaed

* * *

**Missing You**

The day was overcast, heavy dark clouds gathered in the sky, ready to unleash a thunderstorm any time now. People were hurrying and glancing up every now and then, hoping that they would get wherever they needed to go before it began to rain. Some had been smart enough to take umbrellas but with the current wind, it would be useless to try and open them. A gust of wind and they would break.

Trafalgar Law, a tall man in his early thirties was simply strolling slowly down the street, not in any hurry. He knew where he wanted to go, his feet leading him to it while his mind was busy elsewhere. If it rained, it rained.

He had taken the day off from work, a feat in itself for someone whom his colleagues deemed a workaholic. It was true though, he worked a lot. He liked his job as a surgeon and he didn't mind pulling weird hours. He didn't mind working and working until his mind was too tired to think. He thought too much anyway.

Today was an off day, a luxury he hadn't let himself enjoy in a long time. He had woken up early, as per usual, had had coffee in lieu of a proper breakfast (his blood was pure caffeine by now. He knew, he was a doctor) and he had gotten ready. He had dressed up a bit, knowing that he had to make an effort today. He had even tamed his unruly hair as best as he could.

Today he would see his lover. It had been a while. Way too long actually, but it was life, or so Law told himself to make up for the guilt he felt. He should go and see him more, he knew that. He missed him so much all the time… maybe that was why he didn't try to see him more. Deep down Law knew why but it didn't prevent him from feeling bad. To make up for it, he had bought the prettiest bouquet he had found. Sunflowers, freesias, daffodils, daisies. All yellow flowers. It symbolised life and energy but to Law it was simply a colour he associated to Luffy. As yellow and bright as the sun.

The first raindrop fell on his cheek and he wiped it quickly.

He had never intended to fall in love. He had always believed that he was fine on his own and that he wasn't the relationship type. Being tied down to somebody and having to relinquish your liberty was too much to ask. Even when people told him that it wasn't like that, that love was supposed to make you stronger because the other person brings the best in you, well Law stayed sceptical. He had a few casual relationship, well let's call them what they were, one night stands that didn't extend past the first week. And then, he had met this silly little idiot he would take as his lover, Luffy.

He had come in the E.R one night, his arm broken, a wide smile on his face. He had tried some extreme sport with his friends and it had ended badly. From then on, Law kept on seeing him every now and then, always patching him up. It had stopped when he had become a sought after surgeon. Law didn't actually have the time to work in the E.R anymore. He had stumbled upon Luffy in the street after that and the guy had invited him for coffee for, Law quoted "being an awesome guy who healed him all the time."

Law hadn't known how much Luffy would grow on him. How much he had needed someone like this little ball of fluff and sunshine in his life. Spending time with him, getting to know him, falling in love with him, it had been so natural. As natural as breathing.

Luffy made him a better person and he in turn provided some stability in his young lover's life. They complimented each other so well, despite what people had said at first.

Free spirited, Luffy couldn't be tied down to one job but he always found something interesting which somehow paid him well. Saying he was lucky couldn't begin to define him.

A roll of thunder and the rain finally began to pour down heavily. In mere minutes Law was drenched to the bone. He trudged on nonetheless, he had somewhere to be.

People were running past him, trying to get out of the rain, to take shelter in the shops and bars along the street. Law couldn't wait for the rain to pass though. He couldn't make Luffy wait more than he had.

The heavy iron-gate marking the entry of Luffy's home was still the same, black and massive, rust beginning to show here and there. It would soon need a paint job. The ground beneath Law's feet was slippery due to the rain but he managed not to lose his footing. He knew the place like the back of his hand now even if he didn't come as often as he should have.

Finally stopping, he raised his head and caught Luffy's eyes.

"Hello Luffy. I missed you." He murmured, too low for anyone to catch it.

"Hey Law." Luffy replied, smiling, not jumping from his perch. "I missed you too."

That's why Law didn't come here often. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and his throat feeling tight.

Sitting on top of his gravestone, Luffy was busy thumping against it with his feet rhythmically.

"I am sorry I didn't come sooner."

Luffy shook his head and a sad smile stretched his lips.

"Just let me go." He said, and Law's vision blurred, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

Wiping them away quickly, he looked up again but Luffy was gone. He never stayed long. Law's imagination couldn't do him justice anyway. Luffy was unique. Luffy was simply Luffy. And he was gone. Had been gone for two years. A hit and run. A minor event. A tragedy. The last time Law had seen Luffy in the E.R.

Crumbling to his knees, he let his tear fall. He was drenched and freezing but he didn't care, he couldn't feel it. Couldn't feel a thing since Luffy was gone.

"I miss you. I miss you so much…" He whispered brokenly. And then louder. "I miss you, Lu. I love you so much…"

No one was here to witness his break down, to help him get back up. To piece him back together. He was a broken man, missing a part of himself he had thought he had no need for.

Love hurts. That's why he shouldn't have fallen in love, not because he didn't need it. Yet he couldn't regret loving Luffy. Couldn't regret a thing.

"I miss you Lu… Everyday."

He couldn't forget him. Couldn't forget his laugh, his warmth, his smile, his quirks and his kindness. Everything in his daily life reminded him of what he had lost. Two years was a long time and maybe he should have let it go but he had found himself unable to. He couldn't find someone else as his friends had tried to tell him. He couldn't go to the place he used to go with Luffy. His lover had taken so much space in his life, had rewritten so many things, had helped him get through his childhood traumas. He had been his sun, his compass, his lighthouse.

Law couldn't be the same, hadn't been able to be himself since then. So much of himself was tied to Luffy… He had therefore needed to bury himself in work, trudging through life because Luffy wouldn't have liked him giving up. He had to go on, but it was hard. Every day was a heartache.

"I can't…" He choked. "I can't live without you…"

"Shishishi…"

Law's head snapped up but of course there was no one here, it had just been a trick of his mind.

"I miss you." Law said again and then stayed silent, on his knees in front of Luffy's grave, thinking about better days, thinking about their lives, the plans they had.

The hole in his chest just grew wider and wider. That was why he hadn't come in a while.

"Law." A warm hand squeezed his shoulder and he flinched, looking up, half expecting it to be Luffy.

"Ace…" He choked, disappointment heavy in his guts.

"You are going to catch a cold." Ace said sympathetically.

Law nodded numbly. He didn't expect to see anyone here but his was the anniversary of Luffy's death. Of course his family would come.

"I know it's painful. I miss him too." Ace offered.

Law took Ace's hand and got up, his legs shaky. Standing up was hard, it felt as if the weight of the world was crushing him. Ace didn't say anything else, he just stood next to Law in silence, letting the cold rain seep into his bones. They both needed time to mourn. Neither said a word for the longest time.

Ace had it hard too, Law knew it. They were both adrift since Luffy had left. Law hadn't seen his lover's brother in so long. He hadn't wanted to. Looking at Ace, all he could see was Luffy. Ace probably thought the same and that was probably why he hadn't sought him out. They could have tried to help each other but they hadn't.

"He wouldn't like seeing us like that." Law murmured at last.

"No." Ace replied shaking his head. "No he wouldn't. He would kick our asses."

"Yeah, he would."

Silence stretched again and then Ace sighed. He bent down and put the flowers he had brought in front of Luffy's gravestone. Forget-me-nots.

"Lu." Ace started, his voice strong and steady, his eyes betraying his turmoil. "It's been hard, I am not going to lie. I am doing mostly okay but I miss you so much. When I look up at the sky, I try to think that you are up there, looking over me. That's what you believed, that people turned into stars upon their passing and that they look over their loved ones. Nothing bad happened to me so you must be doing a great job warding trouble away from me. Thank you."

His voice broke and he closed his eyes, offering his face to the rain, letting it wash off his tears.

"This guy here is not fine and I haven't been there for him. I apologize and I am going to make sure he's alright, don't worry."

Ace wasn't looking his way but Law liked it better that way. It spared him from having Ace laugh at his astonished face.

"So thank you for looking over us both, we will come back soon with new tales of both our adventures. I know you like listening to stuff like that."

Ace clapped his hands and bowed, eyes closed. Law could only look at him, bewildered. He liked talking to Luffy when he was here, but he often did it when he was alone or in the privacy of his own head. It was as if he was intruding on Ace's thoughts, not that the other man seemed to mind.

"Come on Law, it's freezing. Let's go. We will come back later." Ace said, breaking Law from his deeper thoughts.

"But I…" He started but found himself unable to finish his thought.

"I think a hot cup of coffee would do you some good. I can't let you stay here alone and miserable."

"I – "

Ace took his arm and steered him away.

"I know it's hard. I know Law. But we have to keep going, for him. Because he never gave up, not once. We can't give up. You have to live on, okay?"

Law threw a glance backward, looking at Luffy's grave longingly, the ghost of his lover waving at him happily, making shooing motion his way as if to give reason to his brother. But it was all in Law's head.

"I am trying." He murmured, letting his gaze stray from the gravestone and back to the path leading to the gate.

"I know." Ace replied sympathetically. "Let's grab that cup of coffee and let's talk about Luffy. It's been awhile since I've done that."

Law didn't want to. It would only be painful. Except, right now, walking beside Ace, a man who was going through the same thing as he was, felt okay. Not fine, but okay. That cup of coffee didn't sound that bad. He probably needed it.

Neither men saw Luffy smiling wistfully as them from his perch, looking over them as best as he could.


End file.
